How My Wife and her Childbirth Team Are Like Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots

Although the National Football League is not currently in session, all eyes are on free agency and the upcoming football entry draft. And no one doubts that when New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick says he makes the decisions that he feels are in the best interest of his football team, he means it.

Bill Belichick, take notice. When my wife got pregnant, she went to work assembling the best childbirth team she could find. Like football players, the players involved with birthing babies -- the midwives, doulas, birthing centers, physicians, hospitals, nurses, pediatricians, and all of the related support players -- have certain characteristics, advantages, price tags, experience, and ultimately levels of value to the team. Alison surrounded herself with the perfect group of professionals for this Super Bowl of lifetime events. Even Coach Belichick could take a lesson from my wife when it comes to putting together the best possible team for the journey.

Once the team is in place, you wonder how the different parts and pieces will come together. Bill Belichick puts together the best game plan he can, but when the game gets underway, he makes adjustments and his players respond. None of the players on our team knew each other until we brought them together at Porter Hospital a couple of weeks ago. Alison's team showed the kind of flexibility, adaptability, and grace under pressure that Belichick must aspire to.

Finally, not every Patriots game is a blowout; they play some excruciatingly close games where Belichick really works to manage the clock. This requires poise -- even from the least experienced players. Our childbirth, which came a full two weeks after the due date, was scheduled for an induction. Literally in the 11th hour (and I mean, like, 10:30PM!), Ali went into labor. Which meant she didn't have to be induced. Obviously, the rookie on our team (that is, our baby!) didn't want to leave any time on the clock. Truly Belichick-ian. Is there really any doubt as to which NFL team this kid is going to root for when he gets older?

G-Force

The newest member of the Aiken team -- Gunnar -- arrived home on March 10th. Through a spokesperson, he says he really likes his new home -- especially his two watchdogs and watchcat.

Sleeping patterns in the Aiken household have changed since his arrival -- many late-night meetings have been held... and more frequent daytime naps. Gunnar has adopted several nicknames, including G-Force, G-Machine, Gunny, and Guppy.

Gunnar was born at Porter Birthing Center in Middlebury, Vermont -- and his arrival has definitely been the wildest experience of my life. I fully expect the rest of his upbringing to be no different.

Welcome Gunnar!

Any Day Now...

Bilguins of Montana

"I don't think I'll be a good mother," Alison Aiken informed me this morning.

Really!?! And why is that?

"Because," she said. "I don't think this baby is ever going to be born!"

She is right, of course, that the kid is about six days past its projected due date -- an arbitrary date set months in advance that doesn't really mean anything. She's wrong about it never coming; that kid will be here within two weeks. And something tells me she'll be rewriting the book on what good mothering looks like!

Meanwhile, as we play this waiting game, we have gotten great support from family and friends from all over. Take the above photo of three bilguins, expressing their support from Montana. Bilguins, as many biologists will tell you, are a cross between the Antarctic penguin and the Australian marsupial, the bilby. Although migratory patterns take them to all corners of the globe, their largest concentrations in North America are the northwestern corner of Montana, some urban centers along the east coast, and, most recently, New England.

Bilguins survive on fish, M&M's, both of which they enjoy washing down with beer.

You know you're in Vermont when...

Conspiracy Theory

I'm starting to think this whole thing has been a ruse. That's right: a trick to get me to do the cat litter.

The backstory: I made no secret when I married Alison that I was a dog person. Yet when the cat of one of her patients had kittens, I was a good sport when Ali showed up with Waffle -- a cute orange kitten. I said just two things:

     1) when it stops being cute, I might trade it (the            kitten) in.
     And 2) I'm not changing the litter box.

I didn't make good on either promise: at 12 pounds, Waffle is still with us. And -- from time to time -- I changed the cat litter. But make no mistake; for the most part, the litter box has been Ali's responsibility.

Fast forward to this past June. There we are, sitting in the midwife's office telling them we're preggers. Before uttering "congratulations" or "that's wonderful," all eyes turned on me. As if it was the most obvious thing in the world, they said: "A pregnant mother can not change cat litter."

Apparently, there's something in cat litter that's poison to a developing fetus (duh, don't you know?). Again, they all looked at me, nodding in agreement. "Mark," they said (still nodding), "that litter box is all you."

How do you argue with that?

So, yes, it has been nine amazing months of watching Alison grow this new member of the human race...

... and nine months of scooping that box out after the cat.

Champion

We're in the final stretch. The room is ready, and I'm thinking we're up to the challenge. There's only one thing...

Ali mentioned that she had hoped she would be one of those pregnant women who "glowed" throughout her pregnancy.

This morning we met with our birth caregiver. After a brief chat, they put Ali on the table to take her blood pressure and then listen to the kid's heartbeat. As she lay there with her red hair shining, looking exactly the same as she always does, except for a round 8-month bulge where her belly usually is, it hit me: she is glowing.

Nearly 8 months down, and just one to go. And she has been, simply, a complete champion.

Ski Buddy Turns Six

Oscar our yellow lab turned six years-old yesterday. You might not think a dog's birthday is a blog-worthy event, but I beg to differ: the anniversary is noteworthy for three reasons.

1) I -- not Oscar -- personally received several birthday tidings yesterday both on-line and in person -- unusual, considering my birthday is in March. Why were well-wishers seeking me out on Oscar's birthday, you ask? The answer: Facebook. Oscar has had his own Facebook account for several years now -- with over 100 friends. Yes, my lab! But I recently took the account over. A social media neophyte, I never updated the profile. Therefore, everyone thinks my birthday is November 26th, that I'm single, and that, for my education, I attended April Frost's Holistic Center for Animals and People (Think Like a Dog Levels 1 and 2). Eventually, I'll learn to change the profile. For now, however, I'm expecting the same birthday greetings in 5 months!

2) Oscar's birthday is the anniversary of my acceptance of the "C-word." No -- the other C-word; get your mind out of the gutter! I'm referring, of course, to "commitment" and I was certainly a commit-a-phobe. But while I thought moving in with Alison was a big commitment, onlookers didn't make a big stink until we got a dog. "Whoa, this is serious!" they said. I was already serious, but I guess it took getting a dog together to show this to the world.

3) Not that I was (or am) too concerned with what the world thinks. In fact, I don't even celebrate Oscar's birthday in November. We got him when he was four months old -- in late March. For me, his birthday (like mine) is in March. Good boy, Oscar... I'll get you a chew toy once you've been living here for 6 years. Until then... happy birthday buddy!