Because I'll be honest: since winning the Cup, you haven't really been that impressive.
It would be one thing if you had beaten Washington in the first round (I'm not saying it was your fault; we needed "brick wall" and you brought "pretty good"). And I don't mind you taking the year off (even though you are technically under contract). But instead of quietly skipping the hockey season (by the way, at 38 years old, should we just be calling it retiring?) you're using the time off to support the Chick-Fil-A guy's anti-gay crusade?
(In a sing-songy voice:) Annoyyyyinnnnggggg....
Here's what I know about Chick-Fil-A: One,the CEO/owner says that his god is sending the United States to the "H-place" because we are redefining the biblical family (one can also assume he doesn't believe in the separation of church and state). And two, he (the CEO/owner) is suing the "Eat More Kale" guy, because he believes "Eat More Kale" rips off Chick-Fil-A's "Eat-Mor-Chikin" slogan.
You may wonder what kale has to do with chicken -- or "chikin." I'm pretty sure nothing. (I have, however, gathered that the Eat-Mor-Chikin thing is a sort of "Save the Cows" campaign -- the logic being that you can save cows by killing more chickens.) I'm not a kale-eater, but I do love that the "Eat More Kale" guy has gotten more media attention than he ever dreamed because of the Chick-Fil-A lawsuit. I may just order one of his T-shirts to stick it to Chick-Fil-A. And if Mr. Kale does lose the suit, I strongly advise him to go immediately into the "Eat Kale" shirt business; I have a sense that there's potential for him to do just fine there too.
Timmy, you've been distracting me from the game ever since winning the Cup. Don't think I don't appreciate your good efforts up till then -- seriously, thanks! And have a good year off. But moving forward, I'm pretty much all set.
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